Perfectionism is not a formal cause or symptom of ADHD, but it is a common experience among people with the condition. Learning how to challenge negative thoughts, practicing self-acceptance, and setting realistic goals can help manage this personality trait.
Perfectionism is a personality trait, which is a regular pattern of thinking and behaving that helps define your overall character.
Although the word suggests a need to be “perfect,” perfectionism is a broad concept that involves experiences like:
- setting high expectations for yourself
- being extremely self-critical
- finding it difficult to delegate tasks
- wrestling with feelings of stress and fear of failure
To those around you, these features that characterize perfectionism may look like an excessive drive to make everything perfect and be perfect all the time.
While symptoms of hyperactivity, inattention, and impulsivity in attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) may not seem aligned with the concept, perfectionism is one of the
What’s a cognitive distortion?
Cognitive distortions are patterns of biased, often unhelpful thinking that can alter your perception of the world around you. Most people experience at least a few cognitive distortions.
Perfectionism is a personality trait, but it has also been conceived as a cognitive distortion. It isn’t inherently negative, but it can present as a cognitive distortion when fueled by factors like unrealistic expectations, all-or-nothing thinking, rigid beliefs, and overcompensation (needing to “prove” your self-worth).
Perfectionism is not a formal symptom of ADHD. It’s a common shared experience or occurrence, which means many people with ADHD have perfectionist traits, but people who don’t have ADHD do as well.
Perfectionism in ADHD: Why it happens
Research has not determined a single reason why a person may develop or not perfectionist traits.
Dr. Marcy Caldwell, a licensed psychologist and director at The Center for ADHD in Philadelphia, explained that perfectionism could be both a natural result of how the brain works in ADHD as well as a coping mechanism.
Some people with ADHD experience what’s called “hyperfocus,” a state of prolonged and intense concentration that tunes out everything around them. In this state, it can be natural to spend excessive time on the details of a task at hand, which others may perceive as perfectionism because you’re absorbed in what you’re doing.
For other people, perfectionism may serve as a coping mechanism or a way to neutralize challenges resulting from ADHD symptoms, like distractibility, disorganization, and trouble completing tasks.
“People with ADHD often experience a heightened fear of failure or criticism and a more intense experience of that failure and criticism,” said Caldwell. “Perfectionism can be a way to shield themselves from potential rejection by striving for flawless performance.”
Caldwell added that perfectionism can manifest as a need for control or as overcompensation, where a person with ADHD is constantly striving to “prove” their worth or ability.
Perfectionism in ADHD
Other patterns sometimes associated with perfectionist traits may include:
- Overgeneralization: believing perfection is always necessary for success because imperfection led to perceived failure once before
- All-or-nothing thinking: feeling that one mistake means the entire effort has failed
- “Should” statements: experiencing critical self-talk, such as “I should be able to do this”
- Personalization: attributing unsatisfactory outcomes to personal inadequacy
- Catastrophizing: expecting worst-case scenario outcomes for even small mistakes or oversights
Perfectionism is not negative per se. It may be a positive force when it comes to detail-oriented tasks, and it can foster a strong sense of perseverance or commitment to personal growth.
Some types of perfectionism, however, have been associated with negative mental and physical health effects like chronic stress, depression, anxiety, and higher rates of suicidal ideation. If perfectionism causes you distress, you may want to learn ways to manage it.
Learning how to manage perfectionism in ADHD can help you harness its beneficial features while reducing its unhelpful ones.
Caldwell recommended approaching perfectionism in the following ADHD-friendly ways:
- Challenging negative or catastrophic thoughts: Focus on one negative thought area at a time (not all negative thoughts at once) and identify the most realistic outcomes. Ask yourself how you would respond to a friend with the same feelings.
- Breaking tasks down: Fragmenting tasks into achievable goals can help reduce vague expectations that may drive distressful perfectionism. Instead of long, overwhelming lists of steps, start with identifying two or three small goals and then adding to those goals once you complete them.
- Practicing self-acceptance: Focusing on your strengths in ADHD, like big-picture thinking, innovative problem-solving, and a vibrant approach to life, may help reduce the need to compensate for mistakes or impulsive behaviors. Journaling about your strengths can help reinforce and develop positive self-perception.
- Building regulatory capacity: Caldwell explained that ADHD may make it difficult to regulate emotions, focus, and attention. Utilizing professional support for ADHD symptoms and focusing on consistency in areas of well-being like sleep, exercise, and nutrition can help support self-regulation and reduce the drivers of ADHD perfectionism.
Perfectionism isn’t a formal symptom of ADHD, but it is a common experience for many people with the disorder.
While some aspects of perfectionism can stem from how ADHD affects the brain, they can also be a result of coping with ADHD-related challenges that have led to previous criticism or mistakes. Perfectionism isn’t “good” or “bad” on its own, but if it causes you distress, multiple coping strategies exist.
Focusing on self-acceptance, challenging negative thoughts, and building regulatory capacity are all ways you may be able to manage ADHD-related perfectionism.