Emotional permanence is the ability to trust that emotions continue to exist even when they’re not actively expressed. This may be challenging for someone with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD). Routine consistency, past experience recall, and creative expression can help.

Emotional permanence is similar to the developmental milestone in childhood called “object permanence.” This is the understanding that objects continue to exist even when they’re out of sight.

Emotional permanence is how you know someone cares about, loves, or trusts you without them constantly telling you so. If they leave for the day, you “know” they feel a certain way because you understand that emotions survive time and space.

So, the concept refers to the ability to recognize that many emotions can exist in the background, at varying intensities, even after circumstances change. It also means that you understand that some emotions may not last forever or with the same intensity. For example, if someone’s upset at you, it’s likely they won’t remain this way after some time or action.

ADHD may involve challenges with emotional permanence for some people.

The condition can manifest differently from person to person, but certain symptoms — like problems with emotional regulation, impulsivity, and inattention — may make it difficult to develop emotional permanence.

“Many individuals with ADHD experience what’s sometimes referred to as ‘emotional dysregulation,’ where emotions feel more intense and may seem fleeting,” explained Briana Sefcik, Director of Trauma and Family Wellness at The Last Resort Recovery Center in Austin.

When your own emotions feel short-lived and fluctuating, it can be difficult to understand that other people may not experience the same.

Other features of ADHD can also influence the ability to develop emotional permanence. For example, shifting attention can make it difficult to retain information regarding past thoughts, tasks, and emotions once your focus has moved on to something new.

Impulsivity, hyperactivity, and other challenges in ADHD that affect the ability to maintain social connections can also affect how you understand emotions, potentially reinforcing the concept that feelings are intense but short-lived.

Regular misunderstandings and conflict with those around you, for example, can make emotions seem more impermanent because you’re experiencing regular “highs” and “lows.”

In addition to these behavioral factors, Dr. Max Doshay — licensed clinical psychologist, CEO, and co-founder of Monima Wellness — added that ADHD can create deficits in a person’s executive functions, like working memory, which are essential to continuous emotional awareness.

Emotional permanence is important for mental health because it creates a sense of security and comfort in relationships, said Sefcik. It also adds stability and continuity to emotional experiences, which can ward off feelings like anxiety, abandonment, and rejection.

“[Emotional permanence] aids in emotional self-regulation,” said Dr. Doshay. “Knowing that emotions, both positive and negative, are part of a continuum rather than isolated incidents can help manage reactions and expectations.”

It may be more difficult for an adult to develop emotional permanence, but seeking professional support can help. For a child with ADHD, everyday activities, practices, and routines can help them build a sense of emotional permanence.

Consistent routines

If you’re a caregiver, keeping a consistent routine for a child with ADHD helps them learn that care, support, and comfort are ongoing.

Sefcik explained that this predictability helps children associate persistent positive emotions across long spans of time. Reading a book before bed every night, for example, can reinforce a continual sense of love and connectedness.

Object permanence as a foundation

Dr. Doshay suggested using object permanence to support emotional permanence.

Talking about feelings for objects with a strong emotional attachment, like a favorite stuffed animal or blanket, can teach children that, even when these items are out of sight, their feelings for them remain.

You can ask the child where their favorite object is when it’s out of sight and then ask how they feel about it. You can then reaffirm that the way they feel about the object didn’t change just because it wasn’t present.

Memory books and scrapbooks

Memory books and scrapbooks can help children revisit positive experiences and emotions from the past.

“Reviewing the memory book together can reinforce the idea that the love and joy experienced in these moments are lasting and that those feelings persist even when the experiences are in the past,” said Sefcik.

Reflective conversations

Adults and older children with ADHD can take the concept of remembering positive experiences a step further through reflective conversation and reminiscing. You can talk about favorite vacations, important milestones, or funny scenarios, for example.

Exploring how emotions during those times influenced your current relationship is a way to show how past emotions can still be relevant.

“Openly talking with close friends or family members whom one trusts can do wonders in this regard, too,” said Dr. Doshay. “Simply sharing your feelings with someone you trust and hearing what they think will boost your belief that emotions last forever, thereby making you emotionally balanced as well.”

You don’t have to talk with someone else to have a reflective conversation. You can explore this one on your own through journaling. Writing down your emotional experiences each day can help you reflect on them and how they are, or aren’t, currently affecting you as time goes on.

Creative expression

Making art, playing music, writing, and other forms of creative expression often have a strong emotional undertone. Those feelings often become preserved in that art, allowing you to revisit them when you play a song or re-read a poem, for example.

Both children and adults with ADHD may be able to use creative expression as a way to revisit emotions and explore how they currently affect their lives.

Building your emotional permanence in ADHD isn’t always easy on your own. Symptoms and brain differences underlying ADHD can naturally make emotional permanence a challenge, even with ongoing self-help efforts.

There’s never a wrong time to consider seeking professional guidance. If you want to build emotional permanence but don’t know where to start, are noticing challenges in interpersonal relationships, or don’t feel successful in your own efforts, a mental health professional can help.

Dr. Doshay said that cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is often effective for adults who want to establish more emotional permanence. CBT promotes a sense of emotional safety with a therapist so that you can work together to recognize unhelpful patterns of thinking and reframe them into beneficial ones.

Emotional permanence is the understanding that emotions can persist at varying intensities, even when someone isn’t currently expressing or feeling them. It doesn’t imply that all emotions are enduring, but it teaches you that emotions can exist across a spectrum of duration and aren’t always one-time, brief experiences.

ADHD can present challenges with emotional permanence, but routine consistency, practices that help you revisit emotions from the past, and professional guidance can help.