These techniques may help soothe your body, promote trust between parterns, and potentially increase your pleasure.
As a woman who’s difficult to please, sex can feel like a dance to me — and sometimes, it’s hard to find a good dance partner. It involves touching, feeling, and being emotionally vulnerable.
When it comes to touching and feeling, I found that acupressure can help. Specific techniques and points can jumpstart that safe and nurturing environment and, in turn, help maximize pleasure.
This means that in the bigger picture of many sexual conditions, touch could help dissolve mental or emotional blockages, especially for people who feel pressured to live up to or act out certain expectations.
To help create a peaceful atmosphere, licensed acupuncturist Andrew Perzigian suggests beginning with a scalp massage, pressing the pads of your fingers in circular motions on the scalp, and then moving down to the neck.
Perzigian, an expert in acupuncture, acupressure, and traditional Chinese medicine, specializes in fertility — which, as you can imagine, often involves helping sexual partners with feelings of desire and alignment.
“Go to the highest and lowest pressure points on the body, the furthest points from the core, the furthest points from where balance derives, as a way of creating safe, nurturing, and calming energy,” he says. “And, from the acu-perspective, this is an effective way of balancing the yin and yang extremes in the body.”
When doing this or any other form of intimate touch, it’s important to approach without expectations but with plenty of care and caution.
Location: Around the top of the head, above the ears.
Although this is considered the most yang (active) area of the body, massaging these areas may help lower this activity out of the head and back to the core of the body.
In our frantic, productivity-driven lives, we often invest too much of our body’s resources in our brains, which can interfere with our ability to become intimate.
Massaging DU20 and the head, in general, can help calm an overtaxed mind and allow that precious blood to flow more balanced in the body.
Location: Bottom of the foot, about a third of the way down (KI1); inside the foot, at the base of the toe (SP4).
Gently rub
Both of these points are believed to be directly connected to both the male and female reproductive organs.
Location: Inside the calves, two fingers above the ankle.
Kidney 7 (KI7) is thought to promote the yang, warming energy in the body, while Spleen 6 (SP6) is said to promote the yin, calming energy.
According to Chinese medicine, these points perfectly represent male (KI7) and female (SP6) energy.
They are closely associated, promoting healthy blood flow — which is no surprise as blood flow and arousal certainly go hand in hand.
Location: Two finger spaces down from the belly button.
Belly points can be very tender, and since they’re located closer to our reproductive organs, massaging these points should be done with a bit of caution and extra care.
You’ll read about Ren6, which is considered an important point for boosting energy (or qi).
Since it’s also located on the most calming point of all acupuncture channels, it makes a wonderfully balanced point. So massage with care, such as Ren6, can help nurture a sense of intimacy and arousal simultaneously.
Location: Small spot above the crotch where the hip hinges and meets the body.
Stomach 30 (ST30) is right near a main artery, which, again, helps to increase blood flow in the body. Slowly press on this pressure point for a few seconds, hold, and release. For best results, hold eye contact with your partner during this routine.
These helpful points are chosen for their capacity to calm, which makes for more sensitive and considerate foreplay and more aroused and exciting intercourse.
It’s important to be caring and gently rub or massage these points with love, like a soft kiss, and not harsh pressure.
In general, when it comes to acupressure, Perzigian advises that each individual requires their own unique treatment (ideally tailored to them by a professional).
Above all else, Perzigian recommends creating a calm space for you and your partner.
Since our current society praises hectic busyness and stress, our bodies and minds never have a moment to be bored. But boredom is actually essential to our human existence.
Perzigian describes how focusing on certain yin, or calming, pressure points can “force boredom” on the body and tune out of all of life’s chaos.
“This is the basis upon which any increase in real sex drive can occur, as opposed to artificial increase from [temporary stimulation],” says Perzigian. By forcing boredom onto the body, people will settle into a more relaxed state to be mentally and physically available for intimacy.
Everybody and every body is different, and the most important aspects of improving your sex life come from within. Communication, trust, and relaxation are key.